gray zone

im living in a gray zone
a life of unknown
fearful of what the future may hold
because lately im disater prone
if i were sitting in a sauna id still be cold

everyday i fear falling into the sheer blackness
the abis of depression
my heart is a cactus

i want to expect the worst, so im not suprised
but i find that i feed myself lies
thoughts of opening it up and being so blithe
makes me want to break down and cry

i'm in the gray zone, and soon we will see
if God all mighty has listened to me