My best post yet (or at least the most real)

Ahhh thank God i can finally blog.

last night i couldn't sleep at all

and an array of diverse thoughts rushed through my head.

I needed to write but i knew i shouldve been sleeping.

so i forced myself alseep

have you ever tried to sleep?
how does one make themselves sleep?

thats a question i couldnt answer.

So i just pondered about mainly life in general.

mostly about good things. trying to be optimistic

about some things.

its hard though. im too quick to give up.
not this time.

So laying in my bed i am listening to my favorite artist Kanye.

hes been my favorite since College Dropout but i never really thought

much of it.

anyways i was listening to 808's and Heartbreaks.

has anyone ever felt as if a musician made a song just for you?

crazy thought maybe; but that album is a graphs my emotion cycle

song by song.

its crazy.

or maybe i am.

whats my emotion cycle? well i just made a name up but

its like this:

I get disappointed- Welcome to Heartbreak

I find another girl, or she finds me- Amazing

It seems to be going well.- Love Lockdown

Something small happens to disrupt the flow- Paranoid

We argue. - Robocop

I got nothin for Street Lights - Street Lights

I hear Bad news ie. she doesnt like me anymore- Bad News

We dont talk anymore- See You In My Nightmares

I come to terms with the fact that i'm alone- Coldest Winter

Then it just happens again

not this time though.

obviously i admire the dude for his style.

i try to mimic his when i can

but i dress fresh for me

most of the time its not to impress anyone.

it may not seem like it

but i couldn't give two shits about what most people think

God that felt good.

i dont like feeling like this.
i wanna
scream it at the top of my lungs
but i cant

confusing dream with reality
wishing the dream is reality
go for it
but i cant

im a pussy.

happy thanksgiving.

more work by reas.

its thanksgiving and all i know is im supposed to thank

someone but i have no idea who, so ill thank everyone.

thanks.

thanks for the last two days. those were dope.

just chilling with friends is what life should be about.

laughing at things so hard that you can't breathe, doing

completley illegal and recklace things just for the fuck of it, and

just having those talks where you feel like after them you feel

that much closer. i live for that.

so specifically for these last two days id like to thank:

joseph patrick benjamin and daveed my boys

the thing i would most be thankful for

hasn't happened yet

hopefully it does...

but happy thanksgiving.

ohh and happy birthday nina!

pretty good day

A french artist named Reas's work

couldnt tell you why it was a good day
but im in a good mood today. i feel like
a few people see a different side of me
in this blog and like it. alot. its
almost as if before people only saw part
of me. like a plain square. 2D. now they see
how i really feel. now its like im a cube. 3d.
this could easily be made up in my head and make
no sense to anyone else. i also like that. its
cool that people read this but i dont care what
i say. at all. that makes it raw and real.

another reason why im happy is cause of the
loooooooong weeeeeekenddddddddddddd!
i plan on just hangin' out with no stress
and getting lifted. lets go.

the last reason...who knows

i guess i could tell you exactly why it was a good day.

very bored

so im just looking at some of my favorite art/photos that i found online
and decided to post them
enjoy.

cant sleep

Sculptor Kris Kuksi. Look at that detail

i cant sleep. i slept for about 6 hours
i couldnt stop thinking about the blog
among other things...

i love kanye west. hes a douche but
you gotta love the confidence he has.
if i had that confidence i'd be set
808's and heartbreaks is waaaay to underrated.
Robocop and Coldest Winter by Kanye West both
feel like they're about me
i sing along like a bitch when either of them are on.
which i guess isn't a bad thing seeing as until yesterday
that was the only way to express myself.
thanks for urging me to get a blog emily. it really helps.

nigger

why do people say it?
better yet
why do i care?

i hate the feeling like people expect you to be something your not.
in my case: ghetto
being ghetto is something i dont wanna be but people scold me for not being it
i think people forget that ghetto doesnt mean black
i dont wear what i wear to be "white"
i wear what i wear because its who i am.

some people won't say it cause it's not politically correct
but some people dont care

i dont know why im offended by it
i just am.

i just popped my bloging cherry.

The sky might fall...
sci-fi art of Japanese illustrator Shusei Nagaoka

so its my first time bloging (gooo ahmeddd!)

its like midnight but i feel like my head would

explode with all the stress right now.

so i just figured i'd try to let it out.

Where to start? probably with a fml. nothing ever goes right. period.

I've just

come to terms with not getting my hopes up weather its tests, quizzes, girls, or sports, nothing goes right.

not getting your hopes up leads to never getting let down...